Day 2

Yesterday I failed.  Yesterday, now that I think about it, I failed in a lot of ways (ugh), but the failure in relation to this project and this blog is that I didn't do the Midday Office.  I just totally forgot.  Actually, that's not true.  I remembered before lunch.  And then I remembered around 1:00, when I told myself I had a whole hour to remember, so I was fine, fine, fine with lots of time, time, time.  And then I remembered again at 4:00.  Oops. 

So, it took me until the second day of my project to fail.  I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.  It was good for me, though.  I didn't immediately consider abandoning the project.  I didn't immediately chalk myself up as a total failure.  I did sort of make up for my negligence by combining the Midday Office with Vespers yesterday evening while everyone else was at karate. 

I don't know that I was all about doing the make-up homework so much, though, as seeking some sort of desperate heart-change.  My household yesterday was grumpy.  Super grumpy.  The kids picked at each other.  They picked at me.  Perhaps I picked at them a (teeny tiny) bit.  I medicated at dinner with an egregious portion of summer sweet corn pasta (and no, of course I didn't spend half of the clean-up time after dinner picking out those savory pieces of bacon in that pasta salad that had delicious bits of parmesan, ricotta, and basil stuck to it).  We don't eat a lot of pasta in this household anymore since Amélie has a wheat allergy and since I have done enough research to suspect that wheat may, in fact, be a bit evil.  We ate quinoa/corn pasta last night, but it was close enough to wheat to resemble a medicinal dose of exorphin-producing carbohydrates. 

ANYWAY. 

I combined the Midday Office and Vespers basically because medicating myself with carbs didn't help.  I am glad I combined the readings, because a salve for my soul much more effective than a carb fix was the simple, desperate "Cry of the Church" from the Midday Office: 
Lord, have mercy on us.  Christ, have mercy on us.  Lord, have mercy on us.

So today, when Jack intuitively calls for me as soon as I sneak downstairs to breathe a moment without interruption and to throw in a load of laundry, I will pray...
Lord, have mercy on us. Christ, have mercy on us. Lord, have mercy on us.

And when Amélie bossily "mothers" her brother and incites his rage:
Lord, have mercy on us. Christ, have mercy on us. Lord, have mercy on us.

And when Matt comes home and doesn't display appropriate sympathy about my icky day:
Lord, have mercy on us. Christ, have mercy on us. Lord, have mercy on us.

And when Matt comes home and I forget to ask him about his day because I am too busy whining about my own:
Lord, have mercy on us. Christ, have mercy on us. Lord, have mercy on us.

And if I forget the Midday Office or Vespers or Compline:
Lord, have mercy on us. Christ, have mercy on us. Lord, have mercy on us.

And for those moments when you fail today, too:
Lord, have mercy on us. Christ, have mercy on us. Lord, have mercy on us.