Friday, September 28, 2012

A Shot in the Arm

We (I use the word "we" loosely) give Amélie an allergy shot twice a week.  She hates them.  I hate it that she has to endure them, but her allergies are wretched, and I know how wretched they are because I watch her in her absolutely misery and empathize on a level that I wish I didn't know.  I endured allergy shots for 10 years.  Ten years.  I honestly don't think my allergies ever got any better, but apparently, in the past few years, allergy shots have come a long, long way.  Apparently, allergy shots now have a 95% success rate.

(I know some of you out there are wanting to hand poor Amélie a glass of elderberry juice and tablespoonfuls of raw, local honey rather than these poisonous shots.  I know.  I know.  I know.  I tried that.) 

There is always a significant amount of serum left when it is time to move on to the next vial.  Matt had this brilliant idea that he should give me shots of Amélie's leftovers.  I thought that was a good idea, too.*

Until tonight, our first experiment with Amélie's allergic leftovers.

I was actually taking a bath in Jack's bath water (Yes, I did this.  I just added another 6 inches of really hot water to kill any little boy germs.).  Matt walked in the bathroom with a drink in one hand and a syringe in the other.**  He shot me in the arm, it didn't hurt a bit, and then I sipped my drink, read my book, finished up my bath  and headed up to bed. 

When I had allergy shots from 3rd grade until the end of my first year of college, I always had to stay for 20 minutes in the doctor's office and make sure that I didn't have a reaction.  I never did.  Until tonight. 

My arm isn't sore.  I don't think it is even red.***  But I am an absolute wreck.

My nose is running.  Tiny needles feel like they are pricking my throat.  I am wheezing.  My eyes are itchy.  My ears itch.  My gums feel incredibly sensitive, and the only thing that brings them relief is if I actually jab my fingernails into the tissue between my gums and teeth.  ???!!!  My palms itch.  My palms itch!?!?  I was miserably sitting in bed a little bit ago assessing my situation.  I sat plopped upon my mattress with disheveled hair and dirty tissues surrounding me.  My sheets were sneezed upon.  My breathing was labored.  I alternated between pressing my fingernails into my gums and itching my palms with my teeth.  My teeth!?!? 
And I had an epiphany.
Crazy people aren't really crazy.
They just have allergies. 

*Matt actually asked the nurse if we could do this.  She said yes.
**I realized this morning that Matt gave me a shot from the vial of the SECOND round of shots.  Good thing I'm still alive.
***Oh, what a night will do!  This morning I have a 4" red, hot, hard welt on my arm.  Lovely!!! 

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